Remember when, in the early 2000s, “extreme” became the lazy marketer’s solution to naming new products and we were suddenly bombarded with extreme fruit juices, extreme razors and even extreme shower heads? Tack the word “extreme” onto any lame product and suddenly – it’s cool!

That’s how I’m feeling about LED technology these days. Yes, I know it’s more environmentally friendly than standard lighting, but… well, it’s just too darn trendy. Case in point: LED pacifiers. Ew.

Enter the Bordato Illuminated Planter, an LED planter from Design Within Reach. Lightweight and lit from inside, Bordato Planters are made of double-walled plastic material, letting plants withstand cold far better than ordinary planters can. The four low-voltage LED lights provide more than 40,000 hours of illumination. Now that’s what I call a worthwhile use of technology!

1. I will be patient. I will get to know my new plot of land¹ before rushing to fill it with trend-of-the-minute plants. Please note, however, that I do not have the ability to wait for a full year, as some garden authorities recommend, to note sun exposure. I know my limitations.
2. I will have my soil tested, and amend as necessary.
3. I will be highly selective about the plants I allow into the garden. I have about 200 sq/ft of ground-floor garden to play with, and every plant will have to work hard to earn its place. I want four-season interest, impact, and – I’m dreaming here – edible bits.
4. I will apply for an allotment, now that I won’t have enough room to grow my veggies anymore.
5. I will visit Vancouver’s public gardens more often.
6. I will take on a boulevard planting in our new neighbourhood.
7. Get out and enjoy the garden – without feeling the need to suddenly start pruning or weeding.

I think that’s about it for now. What are your garden resolutions?

¹ We are scheduled to move in to our new home on January 30. Yay!

Merry Christmas and Happy Hannukah to all my friends in the blogosphere. Wishing you the best and brightest for you and your gardens in 2006.

Since, on this Friday before the Chrismmukah weekend, no one seems to be doing any work anyway, I thought I’d pass on this slightly-amusing celebrity “Gardening Gift Guide” by Wes Porter of Canada Free Press.

Pamela Anderson

The temptation to offer a perfect pair of Mammilaria cactus was almost overwhelming until the Weekly World News announced the discovery of a new Brazilian meat-growing tree. “Instead of fruit it grows beef in a hard shell” and could eliminate vegetarianism, says the tabloid. The very gift for one so gifted.

Conrad Black

The beleaguered sometime British media mogul finds himself financially embarrassed thanks to the FBI grabbing his gravy. We can only offer a planting of Lunaria biennis for his Bridalpath home in Toronto while noting that as an alternative to Moneywort it is also known as Common Honesty.

Jean Chretien

Surely Justice John Gomery will agree there could be a nothing more fitting gift even for a small-town boy, than a collection of Coryphantha vivipara aggregata, Golf Ball Cactus.

David Dingwall

A few pots of Mentha canadensis, Wild Mint, well known cure gas.

Chuck Guite

For that example of Ottawa bureaucracy, a specimen of Clusia, or Fat Pork Plant.

Paris Hilton

A nice specimen of the plant known as Herb Paris, Paris quadrifolia, claimed by some to be of medicinal value but known for its poisonous berries.

Madonna

A nice big bunch of Equisetum arvense, or Horsetail plant, somewhat toxic it is true, but a reminder that she who takes up the sport of royalty should a mount with a long mane — if one wishes to remain in the saddle.

Stella McCartney

For that designing Brit, a nice big bag of all-natural bone fertilizer.

Dalton McGuinty

In salute to his fecundity, a copy of Alan Toogood’s concise tome, Propagation, or perhaps as an alternative, Lewis Hills’ Pruning Made Easy.

Kate Moss

A subscription to Rolling Stone magazine, a gift not to be sniffed at as it is a well-known fact that a rolling stone gathers no Bryophytes.

Mike Myers

One word: Bonsai!

Peter C. Newman

We can only offer the poor chap a cure for an unfortunate case of order Psocoptera, better known as booklice.

Olsen Sisters

A new perfume derived from extracts of Twinleaf, Jeffersonia diphylla which, although possibly poisonous is believed efficacious for nervous excitability, diarrhea, spasms, urinary infections and sores.

Prince Charles

A hybrid Camellia, along with instructions he kindly refrain from talking it to death.

Martha Stewart

A Windsor, Nova Scotia pumpkin carved into a boat along with a gourd baler, a souvenir of her much-hyped non-visit this past fall to participate in the passage of pumpkins across the local lake.

I’ll just say it right off the bat: I love moss. I’ve always loved it. When I was a kid, there was a clearing in the forest I lived next to, and in the centre was a stone absolutely thick with the most beautiful emerald-green moss. I was convinced (and still secretly believe) that faeries congregated there. It was definitely a magical place.

So I really don’t understand the effort expended to rid lawns of moss. My father-in-law, upon seeing my sad excuse for a lawn for the first time, said, “you need some moss killer.” Horrified, I replied, “But I love the moss! I’m trying to get rid of the grass!”

Anyway, I came across a novel use for moss and thought I’d share: moss graffiti. It’d be a great use for all that moss starter medium you’ve been brewing up. You haven’t? Oh. Well, you might want to try it if you’ve got a bare-looking log or rock in nice shady, damp area in your garden, or if you want to make your terracotta pots look aged, or if you’d like to start a moss garden. Here’s my recipe:

Quick Moss Starter

• Take a clump (a small handful) of healthy moss from your yard (or ask a neighbour for some if you don’t have any) and crumble it into a blender.
• Add 2 cups of buttermilk and 2 cups of water
• Blend at the lowest speed until it is completely mixed and the consistency of a thin milk shake (add water if necessary)
• Paint the mixture onto rocks, logs, pots or statuary, or simply pour it on the ground wherever you’d like your moss to grow

So, the idea of moss graffiti is that you apply this moss milkshake to your chosen canvas and create a design or object out of moss (as in the photo above). Imagine the possibilities! I’m picturing moss wallpaper a la William Morris (outdoors, of course!)

Via Make.

Heavy Petal readers, meet Instructables. It’s a website devoted to collaborative DIY: participants show (step-by-step!) what they make and how others can make it. The “what” varies widely: from how to make a marshmallow gun to how to sew your own bra to how to divine water.

At the moment, I could only find one garden-related article: how to root plant cuttings. But hopefully once the site grows (hardy har har), more gardeners will contribute. A good one to watch.

Like Girl Gone Gardening, I dream of owning a small farm. I’d grow my own organic produce, raise chickens and goats, sell eggs and veggies and bouquets of flowers at a roadside honesty stand, and have way too many cats. Sigh…

Tuscan Farm Gardens is one couple’s version of that dream. Their 80 acre family estate, 40 minutes east of Vancouver in rural Langley, started when the retired couple moved from city life to “playing in the dirt” and has since become a destination garden, Bed and Breakfast, and apothecary. Famous for endless fields of lavender and echinecea, this West Coast farm is as close to Tuscany as I’ll be getting – at least for a year or two.

Read Heather’s Journal for the low-down on how their dream evolved, and add Tuscan Farm Gardens to your itinerary for your next trip to Vancouver.

Oh my.

If you’ve ever wanted to be immortalized in name and in gardens everywhere, here’s your chance.

Brad Jalbert of Select Roses in Langley, B.C., is selling naming rights to two of the three new hybridized roses he’s introducing next year.

For between $3,000 and $8,000, you can purchase the right to name a new rose. Compared to prices on the world market, which range from $12,000 to $100,000 for the opportunity, these are bargain prices.

Jalbert says his are more reasonable, because even after 15 years in the business he’s still considered new to rose breeding.

One of the roses up for naming is a Fragrant White Hybrid tea (above). Jalbert says, “A fragrant white hybrid tea is extremley rare in the rose world and I have yet to see one with this size of flower.”

“This seedling is a sister seedling to my pink ‘Gerda Hynatashyn’ rose, named after the past governor-generals’ wife. This white seedling has MASSIVE flowers, largest longest buds of any rose I have ever seen. The plant grows upright and tall, produces long stem white roses with a strong sweet perfume and high center flower. They look stunning in bud form. The foliage is large, very glossy deep green. We grow this rose own-root in the field and have about 30 plants available for spring 2006 digging.”

Naming a rose or having a rose named after you is like buying original art, said Jalbert, who toils for five years before a rose is ready to be named and sold.”

Name your rose and Jalbert handles the paperwork to register it with the American Rose Society.

“The name must be accepted and it’s forever in the history books. Every few years, they publish a new rose bible — this big red book called Modern Roses — and the name of the rose with its full description is in there.”

Jalbert would then propagate the rose and sell it from his 38th Avenue nursery. “You get the thrill of maybe seeing your rose in somebody’s garden,” he said.

Jalbert auctioned off the naming of a rose last year for the St. Paul’s Hospital Foundation. A Victoria man paid more than $4,000 and named it for his wife — the Sherry Parks Sunrise — as a Valentine’s Day gift.

“She was just thrilled,” said Jalbert. “It’s the greatest gift she’s ever had.”

Jalbert, who is passionate about his roses, has hybridized 40 new varieties in the 15 years he’s run his business. (The Province)

I think it would feel a bit egomaniacal to name one after yourself, but would sure make a swell gift, especially as a tribute to a deceased loved one, or to commemorate the birth of a new baby.

Anyone interested in naming a rose can contact Jalbert through his website.

You can really bring the outdoors in with this Angel’s Trumpet Lamp, made of sculpted Unyru Japanese paper. The Angel’s Trumpet is also known as Brugmansia, although I’ve also heard Datura referred to as Angel’s Trumpet. Although similar, Datura is herbaceous rather than woody, and its flowers point upward. Brugmansia’s flowers hang downward, just like this lamp.

Via FunFurde.