As a gardener, I’m embarrassed to admit that I’m afraid of spiders – afterall, they’re so good at keeping garden pests at bay. But I’ve been scarred by a childhood in which wolf spiders – those terrifyingly quick-moving, giant, hairy beasts – haunted my summers. They’d emerge when the weather warmed, appearing in the bathroom sink every morning, darting out from every toy I’d pick up in the basement, and once – and I think this is really what did me in – crawling into bed with me. My dad ran into my bedroom with a baseball bat, the screams were that loud.
Maybe I’m growing up (I turned 30 last week – surely thirty-year-olds can’t be afraid of “bugs”) because while planting my edamame seeds yesterday, I disturbed a momma spider and it broke my heart.
See, she’d been nesting in my lavender, and when I’d dug nearby to plant the seeds, I guess she thought she had better make a break for it. But she wasn’t going anywhere without her babies. She was frantically trying to haul her eggs away, and I wasn’t making things easy. I’m not totally reformed, so I didn’t want them hatching in my yard (I envisioned something out of a B-grade horror flick) so I was trying to scoop her and her eggs up onto my kneeling pad so I could I move them. I probably terrorized her in doing so, but eventually I walked her across the alley and found her a new nursery at the ghetto house. Then I subjected her to photography.
It sounds lame, but even two years ago I wouldn’t have been able to move her. I’d have called Ben. And yesterday I felt compassion for her. The way she so desperately fought to hang on to her eggs… I must have recognized that mothering instinct, I guess, even in a spider. Maybe they’re not so scary afterall.
Heather says
I totally sympathize with this experience! I’m massively bug-phobic (like, I get jumpy when my butterflies get too close), but gardening is very slowly curing me. There’s a spider who’s been building gorgeous webs right outside my back door the last few nights and my first reaction is, EWWW! BE GONE! and then I think, Wow, gorgeous web. Please eat lots of mosqitos tonight!
Carol says
I don’t like spiders either, but they are a ‘necessary evil’ of gardening!
Heavy Petal says
Hi Heather and Carol. Thanks for your comments. Glad to know I’m not the only one!
naturegirl says
How kind of you!! You cared for even the smallest of our garden visitors!! I like to hear that!
I saw the same the other day and now you have educated me on what that white ball was!
Nelumbo says
I have never been big on insects and spiders either, but these pictures are really fascinating!
Taryn Domingos says
So happy I read your post. As a gardener, it’s a bit comforting to know I’m not alone! I’m so embarrassed to admit to my fellow gardeners of my fear of spiders when most others aren’t the least bit bothered by them.
Although I have graduated from “eek! *squash*” to “eek!” followed by several clumsy attempts to move them outside to the garden where they are needed. I have developed sympathy for these misunderstood creatures.
Sandi says
An absolutely beautiful piece of writing, Andrea! You’ve come a long way baby, with overcoming your fear of these amazing little creatures.